I dont understand

[ravenryan]

If anyone has suggestions please share. My problem is I dont and have never had friends, it used to bother me but now I realize that my personality is not compatible with alot of people, I have strong politcal views and I am an only child. However, I am 24 and I still dont make friends and when I do, it just seems to fade off, I usually start thinking of reasons that this person likes me is reasons like "their real friends are too busy". it bothers me because I have cousins who are within 10 years of my age and they keep their opinions to themselves and dont tell me why they dont invite to places. It is frustrating and accomodates and worsens the depression I already have from other issues. By reading how i write you should get a feel for how I address people, do you see anything in how I speak or communicate that would push people away? Am I to selfish? Am I not selfish enough? People that I used to hang around and new people call me mr negative and I say some messed up things, but I only say that stuff when I feel like I am not wanted around the group. It is really putting a toll on me now because I used to be sexually active at my old job because I worked there for a while and got comfortable in my space to talk to women and I got fired. This is a problem because I am getting feelings of anger and the depression is getting worse due to lack of a sex life. I am scared of talking to people I am not comfortable around, which unfortunately includes women. Please help. Thanks

[Ecoleman24]

Wow it seems like you have quite a few issues going on here my friend.

Let me start with the first thing you said that really stood out to me. You said others call you "Mr. Negative" if this is true that is something you really need to cut down on. I know you can't be happy go lucky all the time but if you are constantly raining on everyone's parade no one is going to put up with that. When your friends invite you out for a drink it is usually to relax and have a good time. But if all you have to contribute to the conversation is negativity you are going to make those around you uncomfortable and frustrated.

Also I am not sure what you mean by "you were sexually active at your last job" could you elaborate on that? Were you having sex while on the clock (i.e. in the office)? Sleeping with the boss/coworker? I would suggest not doing either of those things at any job and if for some reason you feel you have to such things definitely keep it to yourself no matter how comfortable you feel talking to those you work with.

[ravenryan]

Thanks for your response Eco. I just meant that it was easier to talk to women and people in general that I had worked around for a few weeks. I cant talk to a women in the store shopping, but I wouldnt have a problem talking to someone that Ive worked around and talked to everyday at work. That is a problem because I am getting angry and depressed because I cant talk to a women in a bar or at the store, I just keep to myself and then kick myself when I dont say anything. its hard to explain, I dont get negative until I already know I am not accepted in the group of people.

[Ecoleman24]

Thanks for your response Eco. I just meant that it was easier to talk to women and people in general that I had worked around for a few weeks. I cant talk to a women in the store shopping, but I wouldnt have a problem talking to someone that Ive worked around and talked to everyday at work. That is a problem because I am getting angry and depressed because I cant talk to a women in a bar or at the store, I just keep to myself and then kick myself when I dont say anything. its hard to explain, I dont get negative until I already know I am not accepted in the group of people.

Ahh now I understand you a bit more. I will warn you against talking about private matters with those you work with especially if the talk ventures into things of an intimate nature. Most people won't say to your face that the subject matter is making them uncomfortable but they will lodge a compliant with a supervisor. So with that said at your current/next job do tread carefully.

Do you have a particular thing that is bothering you now that you would like to discuss? Do you have an actual diagnosis of a mental/mood disorder? I am online and all ears for a while.