feeling really bad ..

[jekelandhyde]

cant stop the horried depression taking over me today, my phyc doctor is due to call me in the morning but he never does he forgets and i have to ring him. he asked me if i feel safe in my home and i lied and said i did,i just feel very ill my thoughts are racing screaming at me , i cant talk to my partner about it as he doesnt understand. i have never felt this weird . just started on depokote 500mgs how long before the thoughts go away? im on olanzapine and diazapam but they make me more depressed. how van i get through this weird stage do you think itsa mixed eposiode?

[kathrin]

Hello
I am not feeling too good today. My new found calmness where the pain had dulled had disappeared and I feel so unfairly treated. I know this is a sign of unexpresssed hurt and anger. I have always been described as gentle and sweet by most people who know me. I guess it is a sort of compliment but it also makes me one of those people who always excuse others for their bad behaviour. I am, I suppose, too tolerant. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and my X knows this and he is using this to manipulate me.

I feel awaful. I mean, anything now, however trivial, say an argument or a misunderstanding makes me cry. I am so pathetic. Just now, the maid said something to me in a sort of unkind tone and it really hurt me! Imagine that. What is the point of being kind and nice if all one gets in return is a kick in the teeth? I do not want to become a bitter and mean human being but I need to protect myself. I just realised that. Anyone with any idea how to deal with this, please chime in. I really need to sort myself out and not get so easily hurt. The fact that I have been bottling it all inside and smiling to the outside world doesn't help. All it takes is an unkind word, (not even malicious) and I feel so hurt, and the waterworks start. What is wrong with me?

So sorry my friends for the vent and the moaning but I am a mess right now and I just want to grow a skin as thick as a rhino's so that nothing can hurt me anymore. Just fed up of hurting and feeling unfairly treated.

[S_Mischel]

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