mz_keep_yo_distance
01-31-2011, 11:34 AM
I am new here. I just wanted to find people who cant relate to me and support me. i have two beautiful little girls that i love and adore but i am finding that my illness is taking a toll on them. esp my lil one. i need to talk from time to time and i have workers come in and out but i dont trust anyone. i even feel like what i am typing right now is being "monitored" i go to school fulltime i carry a 3.9 gpa in college and i work at taco johns. i just earned a degree in early chiildhood education, yet im having a real hard time parenting my kids and my two soon to be three year old appears afraid of me. i dont know why. i just get very axious and lose my mind from time to time. i get shots twice a week and i take alot of pills throughout the week morning eveneing and night. i try and tell the doctors that i think the pills make me psychotic but they are like no it does the opposite. somtimes i dont know what to think. im here for my kids. i want to know how i can better build that relationship with my two year old again. i have yelled and spanked her so much she runs from me. no marks so it iosnt considered abuse aka dhs. i need friends who are similiar too me. you will get to know me more. my life is based off colors and i follow what the directions i see in the colors are. sometimes it's scarey and i end up places i dont know how i got there, but i have great insight and know when to contact one of my workers for direction. i have a couple that come in a couple times a week. plus a nurse. btw- my kids are both girls and i can say as of 5 hours ago that i have a 6 year old!!! and i have a two almost three year old. =) i love them and have a great realationship with my oldest....would love to have the same with my baby.....:)