calm
02-26-2009, 09:06 PM
please be easy with me. ( i'm new to this forum )
hope i've come to the right place .
i'm trying to write a story, although i have never written one before, and haven't read many.
but that's not the issue i've come here about exactly.
you will understand why i say please be calm with me. I've kept a secret from my parents for many months and haven't spoken to anybody about it. i need help. i have a past of recently, before the event (which i will explain in a moment), being put in a mental hospital. being taken back to a place like that is my worst fear at the current time, or being fed prescribed drugs and the sort. hopefully i'm explaining this ok. the fact is, after i got out of the mental hospital, i wanted revenge, i felt angry, and abused. i had been suicidal before i ended up there and made attempts but more along the lines of experimental attempts, which is very bad i understand. however, a few months after coming out of the hospital back home once my strength was up again, i truly knew how evil life could get because of all the torment (of the hospital). i wanted to end it all once and for all. that was how i felt anyway.. so i made plans. i searched and thought about the most effective way to end my life for sure. i won't mention any methods. but then an opportunity came where i thought i could end my life completely even though i just wanted things to be better and feel safe. but i took the opportunity and tried to end my life. i was absolutely certain 100% it would happen. but it didn't and i lived. nobody found out either. but i was sure i cleared up after myself and even have a memory of clearing up but i found out the next day i hadn't but i managed to hide the scar on myself that was left. Anyway.. i am afraid that somebody will find out about it and especially since i'm writing a story. And although my dad and others have told me that i won't end up in a mental hospital or be treated with drugs, i still fear they could change their mind or that the law would force it upon me. but i don't have knowledge of a such a law, i'm just afraid one exists as it seems likely. i'm afraid of what will happen to me and my family as a result. i'm afraid of the power people have over me, like doctors, the law and such. i don't feel i can trust anybody, but i'm afraid. so is there such a form of help for this problem. should i continue to write a story ? will people torment me again and make me so angry and frightened if they find out ? what support is there ? do you have advice for me.. please.. i'm afraid. thankyou. and i'm greatful for this website too
hope i've come to the right place .
i'm trying to write a story, although i have never written one before, and haven't read many.
but that's not the issue i've come here about exactly.
you will understand why i say please be calm with me. I've kept a secret from my parents for many months and haven't spoken to anybody about it. i need help. i have a past of recently, before the event (which i will explain in a moment), being put in a mental hospital. being taken back to a place like that is my worst fear at the current time, or being fed prescribed drugs and the sort. hopefully i'm explaining this ok. the fact is, after i got out of the mental hospital, i wanted revenge, i felt angry, and abused. i had been suicidal before i ended up there and made attempts but more along the lines of experimental attempts, which is very bad i understand. however, a few months after coming out of the hospital back home once my strength was up again, i truly knew how evil life could get because of all the torment (of the hospital). i wanted to end it all once and for all. that was how i felt anyway.. so i made plans. i searched and thought about the most effective way to end my life for sure. i won't mention any methods. but then an opportunity came where i thought i could end my life completely even though i just wanted things to be better and feel safe. but i took the opportunity and tried to end my life. i was absolutely certain 100% it would happen. but it didn't and i lived. nobody found out either. but i was sure i cleared up after myself and even have a memory of clearing up but i found out the next day i hadn't but i managed to hide the scar on myself that was left. Anyway.. i am afraid that somebody will find out about it and especially since i'm writing a story. And although my dad and others have told me that i won't end up in a mental hospital or be treated with drugs, i still fear they could change their mind or that the law would force it upon me. but i don't have knowledge of a such a law, i'm just afraid one exists as it seems likely. i'm afraid of what will happen to me and my family as a result. i'm afraid of the power people have over me, like doctors, the law and such. i don't feel i can trust anybody, but i'm afraid. so is there such a form of help for this problem. should i continue to write a story ? will people torment me again and make me so angry and frightened if they find out ? what support is there ? do you have advice for me.. please.. i'm afraid. thankyou. and i'm greatful for this website too