bextehude
05-13-2009, 03:08 AM
I've struggled with depression for years now, and the past year has been a bit rough on me in particular.
In general I have been a very, very (VERY EXTREMELY) anxious, nervous, high-strung person. It used to make me physically sick. It's like having severe butterflies in your stomach 24/7. Part of me thrived off of this...of course! But some of it also led to bad things and overall being mentally unwell.
This year I've done a lot to get myself OUT of depression. Getting active, leaving the house, socializing a lot, faking it until I make it. It has been really good for me.
And another goal was to control my nerves. I did this so well...maybe I overcompensated. Or maybe this is just depression. But I feel so numb. I never feel tingly, I never feel anxious or nervous or even excited.
Although I'm thankful that life's a little more calm...this is a boring state of being I hate. It's not invigorating, fun, challenging, appealing. I feel lost. Dull. This sucks.
What gives?
In general I have been a very, very (VERY EXTREMELY) anxious, nervous, high-strung person. It used to make me physically sick. It's like having severe butterflies in your stomach 24/7. Part of me thrived off of this...of course! But some of it also led to bad things and overall being mentally unwell.
This year I've done a lot to get myself OUT of depression. Getting active, leaving the house, socializing a lot, faking it until I make it. It has been really good for me.
And another goal was to control my nerves. I did this so well...maybe I overcompensated. Or maybe this is just depression. But I feel so numb. I never feel tingly, I never feel anxious or nervous or even excited.
Although I'm thankful that life's a little more calm...this is a boring state of being I hate. It's not invigorating, fun, challenging, appealing. I feel lost. Dull. This sucks.
What gives?