How to change your outlook on life

[cdw_atx]

This is my first post on here so I'm not sure if this is the right place to post.

I'm 28 years old and I feel as if there is no hope. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II about two years ago and I have been treated for ADHD and depression since I was 12.

Currently I'm living in my parents house, trying to finish degree which I started about 10 years ago. When I graduated high school I found out that I was a "trust fund baby". This I believe has partly contributed to my lack of self worth and low self esteem.

I have zero ability to manage my personal finances, I have blown through around $20k in the past 3 1/2 months. Now I have a depleted bank account and the bulk of my money is tied up in investments that I have no access to. I know what you may be thinking. "I feel so bad for the spoiled little trust fund baby."

When I moved back in with my parents I had enough money to go to school full time and not have to work, so I could study and actually graduate. Now I have no money and it seems that my plan has been shot down and my future is going no where.

I'm at a loss as to what I should do now.

I really don't want to ask my parents for money, I'm 28 and I've been in this situation before. They think I still have a few thousand in the bank. I don't know if I could handle the conversation, I'm worried it may make feel even worse than I do now. Would they give me the money I don't know. I need to finish school before I'm 30 or I will feel like an even bigger loser than I already am. I also think I'm becoming addicted to my ADD medicine, focalin. I also seem to lie about everything I do to everyone to avoid criticism or ridicule. All in all I feel like I'm becoming a horrible person.

Here are my questions.

Should I ask my parents to borrow some money?
If I do how do I ask them?
What do I do about my possible focalin addiction?
How do I stop the lies?
Is there hope that I may become a decent human?

I know that's a lot, I need any help I can get.

[IgorSaysWelp]

You don't need to change your view on life, you need to change your view about yourself.. and not just cognitively. You can think anything consciously but chipping away at inwardly feeling defective is difficult. Not only is it difficult to do, it's difficult to learn how. I'm probably preaching to the choir here of course.

You think of yourself as a failure apparently, like a sense of defectiveness is part of your moment to moment experience of yourself or something. But from your post I don't think it's just from mismanaging your trust fund. What else is there? You can be honest over the internet.. though honesty requires you to look at, experience, and digest pain, something most people spend every moment trying to bury and escape from.

[admin]

Because of the nature of Bipolar disoder you are disgnosed with, you might spend lots of money impulsively at times especially when you are having a high mood.

Therefore you better talk to your doctor or psychiatrist about the financial difficulties you have and they might want to talk to your parents about the nature of the illness.
You parents would need some psychoeducation about the mental illnesses you have and they would understand your difficulities and may borrow necessary funds for you to proceed with your education.

[Ray]

Im the last person to give advice on how to deal with the problems you're having. I have some of the same problems and haven't figured it out for my self. As someone who has/is dealing with addiction I would suggest you deal with that first. The addiction was/is at the root of a lot of my problems.

You sound like a good person to me. It takes a lot of courage to see your own faults and try to fix them.

[jamhelper]

did you see the Documentary "The Secret" ? that will definitely show increase some confidence in you.

[Jenny19]

I think you should tell your parents everything, Parents will be always parents to us, All they want is for us to have good life, Tell your parents the truth and I'm sure they will understand everything and they will help you with your problem.. Remember, as long as you live there's always hope.. :)