AmberStone
07-22-2009, 04:39 AM
I sometimes have to deal with really low moods, which I feel are completely unattached to my period. By this, I mean I feel really low energy, sleep too much, am uninterested in my artwork, unable to engage socially, cry without feeling better afterwards, obsessive thoughts about self-injury, and wanting to cancel my existence. Basic depression formula, right? The thing is, I feel these things over the course of 2-4 days once a month, sometimes twice a month. Depression is supposed to last longer than that for it to be legit.. But I can't deny that these moods are severe enough to disrupt my life. I don't believe my period affects this because although I'm usually high energy with my period, sometimes the depressive feelings overlap. I don't notice particular "highs" inbetween these moods other than my usually high energy self, but over my first year of college, the best year of my life so far, feeling my best matched the description of hypomania. You cant let a website diagnose you but I am afraid to go to the doctor because what if it turns out I'm just melodramatic? I'd feel so embarrassed because I don't like admitting my weaknesses anyway. And my history with cutting has burdened my parents enough- if I worried them with a 'possible' mental problem..I don't know, I'm afraid they'd over-react because my Uncle has severe Manic Depression and Schizophrenia, and he's made a mess of things. A number of friends I've confided in and a few counselors have told me my moods arent serious, that I just am oversensitive... But I am simultaneously told they are serious because they cause me to cut and to have suicidal thoughts. I don't know what to think! But I am tired of these short low moods interfering with my life!