TanyaLynn11
07-22-2009, 07:31 AM
I apologize that this is so long...
So I don't know if its OCD, paranoia, or anxiety or maybe all or something else I don't know! I have a lot of fears: spiders, snakes, horses, clowns, the dark, being alone, being trapped, and car crashes. I have an extremely irrational yet present fear of the dark. (I am 21 years old and sleep with a night light! would have more light if my boyfriend could stand it...) I don't know what I'm particularly scared of, but i HATE being in the dark. Especially outside, or when I'm alone. Even in my car alone when its dark out i feel scared there's something in the back seat or something. Also when I am driving I get freaked out that I will crash or someone will wreck into me... Not all the time and I don't hyperventilate or anything, but it is very present in my mind when I'm at the wheel. I like to keep everything very straight and tidy, and I have an obsession with doors being shut. I hate open doors! Especially when they're just cracked and the room is dark. I feel like all day all i do is close doors. Also when I shower, i like to be as quick as possible so i can hurry up and throw the shower curtain open and get outta there. I do everything i can to keep my eyes open on the cracked edge of the shower curtain, and do not feel comfortable when i have to turn my back to it. Just typing that makes me feel anxious! Also i wear contacts during the day, so come night time when i take them out its even worse cuz my eyes can play tricks on me when i take my glasses off. Even in the privacy and (hopefully) safety of my own home i don't walk around in the dark. Sometimes i worry going around corners, and mirrors freak me out. Not my reflection (lol) but one of my worst fears and nightmares is that i will see something in the reflection, turn around to see nothing, then look back to the mirror and its closer. This is more than me just seeing a few too many scary movies, these fears and paranoia are taking over my life! Also i have a need to keep volumes on odd numbers, even when i am driving the radio volume needs to be on an odd number. It makes me feel uncomfortable knowing its not if i dont fix it... And as for the snakes and spiders every time i go outside i am completely paranoid a snake or spider will come out from somewhere... especially when i'm walking in grass. and when im walking with people i cannot be on the right side. like if its just my BF and i, i ALWAYS walk to his left. if its a group of 3 i can be in the middle of the left. NOT the right, i cant stand it and will even stop walking or just walk behind them if for some reason i cannot have my way. oh and when i'm (mainly alone) in a room, i do whatever i have to not to have my back to the room, even if it means sitting with my back in the corner. and i DO NOT like to be alone.... it freaks me out. even to get up in the middle of the night to potty its like uhhh do i have to go that bad? cuz i dont want to get up. i know all of this sounds really pathetic but its just the way i am. I am just wondering what these traits might mean, and if anyone knows any ways i can try to get over it! Thanks for reading all this if you did, i appreciate it.
So I don't know if its OCD, paranoia, or anxiety or maybe all or something else I don't know! I have a lot of fears: spiders, snakes, horses, clowns, the dark, being alone, being trapped, and car crashes. I have an extremely irrational yet present fear of the dark. (I am 21 years old and sleep with a night light! would have more light if my boyfriend could stand it...) I don't know what I'm particularly scared of, but i HATE being in the dark. Especially outside, or when I'm alone. Even in my car alone when its dark out i feel scared there's something in the back seat or something. Also when I am driving I get freaked out that I will crash or someone will wreck into me... Not all the time and I don't hyperventilate or anything, but it is very present in my mind when I'm at the wheel. I like to keep everything very straight and tidy, and I have an obsession with doors being shut. I hate open doors! Especially when they're just cracked and the room is dark. I feel like all day all i do is close doors. Also when I shower, i like to be as quick as possible so i can hurry up and throw the shower curtain open and get outta there. I do everything i can to keep my eyes open on the cracked edge of the shower curtain, and do not feel comfortable when i have to turn my back to it. Just typing that makes me feel anxious! Also i wear contacts during the day, so come night time when i take them out its even worse cuz my eyes can play tricks on me when i take my glasses off. Even in the privacy and (hopefully) safety of my own home i don't walk around in the dark. Sometimes i worry going around corners, and mirrors freak me out. Not my reflection (lol) but one of my worst fears and nightmares is that i will see something in the reflection, turn around to see nothing, then look back to the mirror and its closer. This is more than me just seeing a few too many scary movies, these fears and paranoia are taking over my life! Also i have a need to keep volumes on odd numbers, even when i am driving the radio volume needs to be on an odd number. It makes me feel uncomfortable knowing its not if i dont fix it... And as for the snakes and spiders every time i go outside i am completely paranoid a snake or spider will come out from somewhere... especially when i'm walking in grass. and when im walking with people i cannot be on the right side. like if its just my BF and i, i ALWAYS walk to his left. if its a group of 3 i can be in the middle of the left. NOT the right, i cant stand it and will even stop walking or just walk behind them if for some reason i cannot have my way. oh and when i'm (mainly alone) in a room, i do whatever i have to not to have my back to the room, even if it means sitting with my back in the corner. and i DO NOT like to be alone.... it freaks me out. even to get up in the middle of the night to potty its like uhhh do i have to go that bad? cuz i dont want to get up. i know all of this sounds really pathetic but its just the way i am. I am just wondering what these traits might mean, and if anyone knows any ways i can try to get over it! Thanks for reading all this if you did, i appreciate it.