BayleyM
10-06-2009, 05:30 PM
Hello everyone. I'm new here, just thought I would join to get some perspective on my situation. My name is Bayley and I am 20 years old. Well, I think I may have PTSD. Two years my Mother died from a long battle with breast cancer. I was 17 at the time. My mother was my best friend in the world. Last weekend, my father wed his girlfriend of one year. It was extremely traumatic too me. I am also a VERY anxious person. I've had problems with anxiety since I was in elementary school. I get very nervous about things. I also have a phobia of sirens. Like ambulance, police, fire. Whenever I hear one I start to sweat, and I feel my heart beating extremely fast. I feel terrified that one of my loved ones has been in an accident. Especially when I hear an ambulance. I feel terrified that my father, or sisters, or nieces and nephews are the ones in there. That is hard because I live about a block away from a major hospital. When I hear that ambulance I have to call my family right away to make sure everyones alright. I like my family to call me before bed so that I can make sure they all got home safe and sound. I am terrified of one of my loved ones dying. Every scenario runs through my head. After seeing my Mother die, I can't bare the thought of losing someone else. My father has abandoned me in some ways. He has left the house and won't give me any money to pay bills. His now wife is the typical evil stepmother. She is with my Father for money. She had lied about various things. I don't trust her with my Dad. I know that I have a problem. I know that I have something happening in my head. I am in extreme emotional pain about how my life has turned out. I think that I may also be suffering from depression. And insomnia. I do have flashbacks of the day my Mom died. And I've had to grow up so much in the last two years. I have many nightmares when I do sleep about my family and my mother passing away. I've been like this since my Mother died. I didn't worry this much before. I also have an illness that makes it hard for my body to fight off viruses and bacteria. Stress can cause me to get very sick. I do have a low-cortisol level. I think that my mother also suffered from some mental disorders. She tried to commit suicide once. It's hard to explain the full extent of my problems on here. But I want to talk to someone who feels similar. Or do you think I need to see a mental health doctor? Any suggestions would be helpful. It would be extremely appreciated. It's hard for me to live my life this way. I have a long life to go and I don't want to always feel this way. Thank you very much.