phobia of sex?

[Morgan09]

I'm not sure why I'm posting here... I doubt I will get a response...

For a long time I have felt like something is REALLY wrong with me. I have never been the type of girl who wants to have sex, and have only made poor decisions regarding sex in the past. My first time was in the back seat of a car after getting really high on pills and marijuana and it technically didn't even FULLY happen because something was wrong with ME (i'm a female, btw).

I have only had 2 sexual partners since then, one being a girl (multiple times) and the other being a guy (only once).

The problem with me is - penetration HURTS. and the only time I have any desire for it is when I am terribly drunk. even then - there is no pleasure with penetration, whatsoever - only pain. I tried researching online why it would hurt, and some websites suggested that if it's not a medical problem (and i have been to the gyno) - it's psychological.

I'm not entirely sure why I would have this great fear of being intimate with a man.. but i do recall a time when I was very young when a neighbor pinned me to the ground and pretended to do things of a sexual nature to me. he didn't actually do anything (that I remember) - but i remember feeling extremely uncomfortable and scared. I don't know if this is the cause of it... or if there could be something else.

it has left me a completely confused mess of an individual. I'm too afraid of getting close to any guy because I am not willing to sleep with any man at this point.. I have considered that I might just be a lesbian, but I still have an attraction to men at times. Is it possible for a human being to actually be asexual?? or otherwise - not interested in intimacy, but rather just companionship?

can anyone offer any help in overcoming this anxiety or what I can do to make the pain go away??

[admin]

You mentioned that

I was very young when a neighbor pinned me to the ground and pretended to do things of a sexual nature to me. he didn't actually do anything (that I remember) - but i remember feeling extremely uncomfortable and scared.

It might be possible that you are having the effects of that incidence and affecting you in negative way psychologically. It might be worth seeing a psychologist regarding this.

[Ecoleman24]

I agree with admin I think see a psychologist is the best course of action for you. Also it never hurts to get a second opinion from another OB-GYN. Just because one doctor didn't find a physical cause does not mean one is not there. As a woman that suffers from Endometriosis I speak from experience. It took more than 2 years for them to figure out the source of my pain.

[Naps With Cats]

Hey there,

I am asexual and when I discovered and accepted this I felt a big burden lifted and free in a way. I don't miss sex, for me it also hurt, I've been both with one woman and men.

As well, I've been sexually abused 3 times in my life (I'm almost 50). It may have played a part. For awhile I missed being held and just that stuff, but the rest, blech. Don't even think about it and feel really great about that part of my life.

There is a website to answer questions specifically about asexual (which is a scientific sexual preference, just like heterosexual, gay, lesbian, etc.).

If you look on Google for "AVEN" website, you can get a lot of your questions answered.

About he hurting part, well, I haven't been to a gyno (last guy who sexually exploited me for 6 months while misdiagnosed and on so many meds I was a zombie) was a Psychologist, the first when I was 16 with a knife at my neck (was my first time), 2nd was someone I knew.

But the hurting part, If they don't find anything there that indicates any problems, it could be the "dry" syndrome or it hurts because you really, really don't want it. I know I don't.

I sure hope this helps. This is NOT a serious problem and can be a gift to discover your true self possibly.

Wishing you luck - check out that website, they helped me so much!

I'm not sure why I'm posting here... I doubt I will get a response...

For a long time I have felt like something is REALLY wrong with me. I have never been the type of girl who wants to have sex, and have only made poor decisions regarding sex in the past. My first time was in the back seat of a car after getting really high on pills and marijuana and it technically didn't even FULLY happen because something was wrong with ME (i'm a female, btw).

I have only had 2 sexual partners since then, one being a girl (multiple times) and the other being a guy (only once).

The problem with me is - penetration HURTS. and the only time I have any desire for it is when I am terribly drunk. even then - there is no pleasure with penetration, whatsoever - only pain. I tried researching online why it would hurt, and some websites suggested that if it's not a medical problem (and i have been to the gyno) - it's psychological.

I'm not entirely sure why I would have this great fear of being intimate with a man.. but i do recall a time when I was very young when a neighbor pinned me to the ground and pretended to do things of a sexual nature to me. he didn't actually do anything (that I remember) - but i remember feeling extremely uncomfortable and scared. I don't know if this is the cause of it... or if there could be something else.

it has left me a completely confused mess of an individual. I'm too afraid of getting close to any guy because I am not willing to sleep with any man at this point.. I have considered that I might just be a lesbian, but I still have an attraction to men at times. Is it possible for a human being to actually be asexual?? or otherwise - not interested in intimacy, but rather just companionship?

can anyone offer any help in overcoming this anxiety or what I can do to make the pain go away??