Ryan
10-16-2009, 01:50 PM
Hello, my name`s Ryan, I`ve got a very unpleasant problem and I`d really like to be able to talk to someone about it. I suppose I`d better give you a quick summary of my situation first. I damaged my spine a few years back and had to have major surgery to fuse a portion of it and remove a disc, they also used part of my hip to scaffold it all together. Since then I`ve not been the same, I did get a bit better, but I`m still on morphine every day (six years on) and that doesn`t mean no pain either. I`m not working anymore and i`m at home on my own most of the time. I`m 32.
A little while ago I had some awful symptoms come on out of the blue, sweating, nervousness, terrible anxiety, listlessness, terrible sadness and a feeling of utter desperation, I felt like something terrible was about to happen. The doctor put me on Prozac and then all hell broke loose. It got worse, much worse, to the point I basically went mad, that`s the closest to insanity I`ve ever come I think. After talking it over with my wife, we realised I`d dropped my Oral morphine dose by a lot, all in one go, so we thought maybe it was withdrawal symptoms, the doctor agreed. I should be used to the lower dose now, that was two or three weeks ago.
SO... That brings us to the present. The symptoms have returned, all be it not as bad as before. I`m feeling anxious, a little confused, I feel like I`ve banged the back of my head, I`m off my food to the point I`m not eating at all in the day, or drinking (I`ve forced something down today) It`s fair to say I`m depressed at my situation, it`s awful to see my poor wife being so upset because of me. :(
I`m putting the feelers out for a phsyciastrist I met at my pain group a while back, if I need to talk to someone, I`d rather it was someone familiar. I`m also going to make an appointment to see my doctor again, I`m a little worried about that because I think he`ll just want to put me on antidepressants again. If this is depression, then I suppose I need to be on them. I`m just so worried I`ll have a similar reaction and go mad again. i was so close to the edge when that happened, I can`t go through that again. :( But I may have to in order to get better. They say they`ll keep an eye on me but that just means weekly appoinments, that`s hardly going to help if I go mad and hurt myself is it?! Maybe talking to a head shrinker will help, maybe it won`t, I don`t know. This doesn`t feel like I`ve just gotten depressed, it feels like a drug reaction. I feel like someones been feeding me super strong coffee in my sleep or something. I feel clouded and drugged, nervous and weak, but it doesn`t feel like it`s just me, does that make sense? I`m used to the morphine, I can`t see why it would do this out of the blue after so long. I don`t know what`s wrong, :( I just hope I can get better, for my wifes sake as well as my own. Can anyone offer any comment on what I`ve spoken about?
A little while ago I had some awful symptoms come on out of the blue, sweating, nervousness, terrible anxiety, listlessness, terrible sadness and a feeling of utter desperation, I felt like something terrible was about to happen. The doctor put me on Prozac and then all hell broke loose. It got worse, much worse, to the point I basically went mad, that`s the closest to insanity I`ve ever come I think. After talking it over with my wife, we realised I`d dropped my Oral morphine dose by a lot, all in one go, so we thought maybe it was withdrawal symptoms, the doctor agreed. I should be used to the lower dose now, that was two or three weeks ago.
SO... That brings us to the present. The symptoms have returned, all be it not as bad as before. I`m feeling anxious, a little confused, I feel like I`ve banged the back of my head, I`m off my food to the point I`m not eating at all in the day, or drinking (I`ve forced something down today) It`s fair to say I`m depressed at my situation, it`s awful to see my poor wife being so upset because of me. :(
I`m putting the feelers out for a phsyciastrist I met at my pain group a while back, if I need to talk to someone, I`d rather it was someone familiar. I`m also going to make an appointment to see my doctor again, I`m a little worried about that because I think he`ll just want to put me on antidepressants again. If this is depression, then I suppose I need to be on them. I`m just so worried I`ll have a similar reaction and go mad again. i was so close to the edge when that happened, I can`t go through that again. :( But I may have to in order to get better. They say they`ll keep an eye on me but that just means weekly appoinments, that`s hardly going to help if I go mad and hurt myself is it?! Maybe talking to a head shrinker will help, maybe it won`t, I don`t know. This doesn`t feel like I`ve just gotten depressed, it feels like a drug reaction. I feel like someones been feeding me super strong coffee in my sleep or something. I feel clouded and drugged, nervous and weak, but it doesn`t feel like it`s just me, does that make sense? I`m used to the morphine, I can`t see why it would do this out of the blue after so long. I don`t know what`s wrong, :( I just hope I can get better, for my wifes sake as well as my own. Can anyone offer any comment on what I`ve spoken about?